spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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