this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
