Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
