So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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