Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I didn't notice because vodka
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
