I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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