hotel room ftw
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
