you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
