im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
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Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
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Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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