do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
