Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
