Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
