Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
