I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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