He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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