I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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