I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough