I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
