People with herpes should wear stickers.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.