Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We have started to decorate penises.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
