And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
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I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
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I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.