why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
why is half of my head shaved?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
