He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
