They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize