question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
