The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
