Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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