You made me cry and you don't even care
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize