Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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