help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
