So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
