Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I looked at my own cervix.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
