oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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