and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just want to make out with him forever
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
