you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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