Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
