I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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