It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
