I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
