11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
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Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
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At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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