Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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