This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
