I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
