Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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