took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
