yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
