I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
