i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Farmville is her only friend.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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