Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
