I wish I could punch you in the face.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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