She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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