did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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