big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
