i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
