nut hugger
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
