I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
