Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
