She announced her abortion via fbk
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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