yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
