The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
