I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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