I am midnight drunk by noon
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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