Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I wish you could order shots online.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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