If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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